Self Love vs Self Acceptance

WARNING: Here is a truth bomb/ eye opener I’d like to share with you; There is a difference between Self Love and Self Acceptance

You see the ultimate goal is Self LOVE. Unconditional love. Self acceptance is not enough. It’s a start and I applaud anyone and hug anyone that gets to the point of self acceptance but it’s not unconditional love. Accepting yourself is not the same as loving yourself.

Consider the feelings you have for your own children, your own pets. While you may lovingly accept your friends pets over or the friends of your children over into your home. You have guidelines and expectations. You will lovingly accept them IF they aren’t too loud, don’t break anything, make a mess, mind their manners, etc. etc. If one of those “guidelines” is broken or is no longer met, your friends pet or your children’s friends may no longer be welcome in your home. You will not put up with that. However, you love your children, you love your pet unconditionally. You essentially treasure them. You will not stop loving them if they make a mess in the house, are too loud or acted like a bunch of dicks. You forgive, “go easy” and You never stop loving your “babies.”

We love our pets unconditionally.

Here’s the truth bomb: You do not give yourself the same unconditional love. You kick yourself out of your own “home” if one of the guidelines or expectations is broken or is no longer met. You focus on all of the things you didn’t get done that day, all the people you let down and then you get mean with yourself; you are too lazy, too stupid, too fat, too tall, too lazy, too skinny, too useless, too dumb, a bad parent, a bad friend, etc. etc. etc. and you are no longer welcoming to yourself.

I invite you to start with accepting yourself without any ultimatums, expectations, guidelines and rules and move to loving yourself unconditionally. Focus on everything you have accomplished in your life. You have had a very full life when you reflect upon it. Maybe you have had a rough journey and let’s face it; you will make mistakes, your body will change throughout your life, you might leave that career, that relationship might not work out but you… you have to love yourself unconditionally wherever you are in your life and never stop! Here’s a secret, no one will ever be able to love you more than you love yourself, not even your kids. So, stop being so hard on yourself, right now. You are human. Would you talk to your children the way you sometimes talk to yourself?

When you have achieved your goals, you are productive, you are in perfect health, you are in your dream career, you are at your ideal weight, your children are happy, healthy, successful and you are in a strong, amazing relationship; I’ll bet you think you’ll love yourself unconditionally then. But such a perfect life is rarely a reality and oddly enough, we turn to beating ourselves up because of that. There’s always something keeping you from that perfect life. However, if you love yourself unconditionally, see how your life starts to change. I promise, it will start to change. And it is so important that you start this NOW. It’s never too late to learn to love yourself unconditionally. Sometimes we develop a hole inside of us because we don’t live that perfect life. That hole fills up with depression, anxiety, illness, addiction and fills us up with feelings of doubt, fear, shame, guilt and remorse. Ugh. Would you want your children to go through all that?

What if we stopped putting all of those conditions, rules and expectations on ourselves and just loved ourselves the way we love our kids and our pets? Are our children perfect? No, but we love them anyway. They are human and humans are not perfect we say. So, when you think about it, what does being human really mean? Does it mean being perfect?

Cut yourself some slack and be human. Start with self acceptance and move to your ultimate goal of self love.

I love you… and me,

Lexi

The Divine Plan

Have you ever felt like you didn’t have a clue what you were doing with your life or what you were supposed to do with it anyway?

Have you ever felt moved or pulled in a certain direction to do something but you weren’t sure why or if it would even turn out the way you wanted?

I have. And the most definitive time for me was all about having my second child. Having been told most of my life that something was wrong with me, that acting on my passions, dreams, hopes and desires was “crazy”, or irresponsible, that speaking to Spirit was a symptom of mental illness… it was very difficult to explain to others why I knew I was going to have a second son.

All I can honestly say, is that I was “pulled” to have him and it became something I felt, heard and saw as my very birthright. Something I wanted. Something I had to do. When the time was right, trust me, it happened easily! LOL but when I was trying too hard, it never happened. I had to let go of the need and the want and the attachment of how it was going to look.

There are, of course, many rational, psychological, biological reasons why I was going to have my son but the problem was, those were all just ” rational, psychological, biological ” reasons and I have come to learn there are other reasons out there, Spiritual reasons. The “reasons”, I felt in my body, came from another place. They came from Source.

Things were rocky in my marriage to say the least, on and off… but one thing that kept coming up for me was that I was to birth another son. I knew I wanted another son but why? Why now? Was it a crazy or irresponsible thing to do? When things were really good between my husband and I, it never seemed to happen. Now that things were not so good, why did I know I was going to get pregnant? Shouldn’t I have done more things to prevent it? Hahahaa!

I examined if it was the proverbial “biological clock” ticking. I checked in with my gut. That didn’t seem right as I already had one son. I also knew, it wasn’t to try and “fix” my marriage either. If anything, I thought having a child with my husband could quite possibly drift us further apart. I asked for Divine guidance, I pulled cards, I prayed, I meditated, I asked other intuitives. Something inside me told me I was going to have a baby. I was kinda scared at first but then I let it go and it felt great!

What I am going to say next, might sound crazy but I honestly felt like my unborn son’s presence, his soul, began visiting me before his conception… “tapping” on my shoulder and telling me, ” now is the time you bring me into the world…this is where I come in… here is where I make my entrance…now is the right time to get pregnant….Remember the plan?”

Plan? What plan? On my Spiritual journey, I have learned that there is something out there greater than my rationale. Or my lack of rationale for that matter! There is the Divine and I strongly believe that my own Divine self, did in fact have a plan before I arrived on this Earth and in this body to have a second child, another son and that’s why I felt such a pull to make the decision to “let” myself become pregnant again. I felt I was going to have another son and I knew he would teach me many, many lessons.

Making the decision to have a child, change careers, buy a home, or leave a relationship for example, these are all complex ones. Rather than just reading parenting magazines, watching stocks or listening to others opinions, I encourage you to listen to yourself.

Take your time. Don’t push it or try to rush it! Pay attention. Listen to  your heart, listen to that “gut” feeling and to those “goosebumps”, pay attention to your dreams and visions because that’s your Divine self and your Divine team speaking and whether it involves having children or other big decisions, your intuition has something to tell you. Your Divine team speaks to you through your intuition.

Whenever it’s time to make a decision, I encourage everyone to talk to their Divine self, talk to their Divine team and listen to their intuition because it’s always right and always knows what’s best for you; whether you like it or not.

I became a Spiritual coach for many reasons but two reasons are clear. I love helping others get in touch with the Divine and I love helping people discover their own “Divine Plan”.

Today my sons are my greatest Spiritual coaches. They help bring me back to Source. Things did not work out between my husband and I but I have learned so much more from my second son and his guides and angels that it is clear now why I felt the deep calling to have him. Was it irresponsible? Crazy? Foolish to have him? Definitely not! It didn’t look like I wanted but it was just part of my journey and his lessons have allowed me to be a better mother, a better teacher and a better human.

If you feel a deep calling to change or add something into your life, check in with the Divine, let go of any attachment to ego and outcome, don’t rush it, it may not always turn out how you thought it would but it’s always what’s best. Look for the signs: how do you feel? what visions do you get? what messages are you hearing? what do you just know?

And I stress, take your time, if it’s not the right time, it won’t happen. Let go and just trust. It’s all part of the journey, it’s all going to work out exactly as it should and it is all part of the Divine Plan 😉

Lexi

Me and my two greatest teachers

Angel Messages – Archangel Uriel

Hey everyone, in this post I am called to speak about Archangel Uriel. Now when you are wanting to work with any Archangel, Guide or Ascended Master, it’s important to call upon them correctly. You want to first find out as much as you can about them so you know how to ensure you are communicating with the correct entity.

Archangel Uriel’s aura glows in a soft golden colour or a pale yellow. His name means the Light of God, God’s Light or God is my Light, therefore is known as the angel of light. He is the archangel of wisdom, philosophy and thought. Uriel is said to have appeared to many as a “round” angel, jolly, almost as if a grown cherub like angel.  Think of your jolly old uncle that makes you smile. Many believe it was Uriel that appeared to Noah before the great flood in the Holy Bible. However, the name is not actually mentioned in the Bible. He is often depicted with a torch, a flame, a lighting bolt or a lantern and is said to “illuminate” our minds with the answers, ideas, new concepts and insight.

Coming from a place of love, relaxation and calm, ensure you have done what you need to ground yourself, and open up your crown chakra. First picture Uriel’s aura. A light, warm golden colour or pale yellow. Then call upon Archangel Uriel: 

To work with Uriel, infuse your space with the colour yellow. You can light a candle, (a yellow candle is even better) or a fire in the fireplace, the point is anything representing a flame. Wear yellow, have amber crystals on hand, maybe some lemon water as well.

“Archangel Uriel, I know it was you that is said to have warned Noah of the great flood.  I call upon you now to please assist me. I ask you please, to let your knowledge, your wisdom and understanding guide me with __________”

Remember to watch for the signs and visit the three A’s of communication when receiving guidance from angels. If you need a refresher on that, you can check out my YouTube video on How to Communicate with Angels. 

As always, remember to give gratitude.

Our message from Uriel this month is: You know what to do. Trust your inner knowledge, and act upon it without delay.

Angel hugs and angel blessings, Lexi

The Death of a “Not so Good” Person

Death.   It is interesting to me that in just my family alone, we have so many different views and opinions on death. While some of us are willing to speak freely and openly about the death of a loved one, others are completely in denial and never want to even mention the “D” word. Making future arrangements for death in my family for example is almost unheard of!

A few years ago a friend and his family lost their 18 year old son in a drowning accident. It was very tragic and really affected me. I can’t imagine what they went through. At his celebration of life, I learned what a charitable person he was. How kind he was. I saw all of the photos of his travels to Europe and India and pictures of him with the Dalai Lama. Wow! I thought and thought and thought about why it was necessary for these parents to lose their child.  Why? I believe that everything happens for a reason but I also believed there could never be a good enough reason for why a parent would have to bury their own child. No parent should ever have to go through that…but then I realized… perhaps; the young 18 year old boy had already fulfilled his life purpose. In the short time that he was here on this Earth, he was the best person he could be. He helped others, he was adventurous. Maybe he had completed all of his life missions that he was ever here to complete and he had learned all of the lessons he had to learn. His Soul had grown.

In more recent years, I lost my grandmother.  Now here was a woman that I guess did not successfully complete her life missions or learn her life lessons and until she was 103 years old! Why did it take so long for one person and why was it so soon for the other person?  I believe that is just the path we chose for ourselves before we even arrived here in our mother’s uterus. My grandmother was a rather, shall we say “dark” woman. She practiced witchcraft, black magic and who knows what else. She had hatred in her heart and I’m sure she a lot of karmic debt to pay before she was allowed to leave this earth.

My grandmother’s death was an experience for me. I went through almost everything I was told I was going to have to go through… feelings of shock, sadness, guilt, anger, relief, acceptance…ugh!

I paid to have my grandmother’s name engraved on a memorial wall in the Vancouver Cemetery. I did it because I didn’t want there to be absolutely no record of her ever existing. My father claims he threw everything of hers away. Having already an estranged relationship with my dad and not having seen my grandmother in the last twenty years turned out to be difficult enough for me. Now to find out that there was nothing left to commemorate my grandmother left me feeling sad and depressed. I did have some good memories of from when I was a child. She was funny and played with me and told me stories, she was such a good story teller.

When the funeral director told me she didn’t have any clothes to be cremated in, but the hospital gown she died in. I knew that was not going to do. I went and bought her a nice dress, and bolero jacket to be cremated in. I bought her some pearls and jewelry for her because I wanted to make sure she was cremated in something beautiful and glamorous as she always presented herself in life.  Then I felt sorry for her. She was once a little girl too. Someone shaped and molded her into the woman she was. My poor grandmother, she wasn’t the greatest woman alive, she was a scary woman. She did some cruel and awful things in her life but…she also always tried to present herself as a glamorous and elegant lady. She was an author, a poet, a singer, an actress and I believe she is the reason why I too love to publicly speak, to sing and act. From what I know of my grandmother, which is not very much, because I was child when I knew her, she used to speak about being bullied and treated poorly by her family. She was isolated and her life was my father, her one and only son, which she had such a toxic relationship with. She adored my dad and yet he abused her and stole from her. She left all of her family and friends in South America behind to come be with her son saying, all she had was him.

When she died, my father passed her ashes on to me. I didn’t know what to do with them and was very uncomfortable keeping them with me so I reluctantly took them until I could figure out what to do with them. At the end of my grandmother’s life, I hadn’t spoken to her in about 20 years but once she died, boy did she talk to me. She knew I had the gift and haunt me she did. But I have a friend that is a very powerful Medium and my grandmother visited her and gave her the clear message I had to do something with her ashes. My grandmother scared my friend so I knew I had to take action. I asked my grandmother what she wanted and she clearly delivered that she just wanted to be with my father.

So I returned her ashes to him and my grandmother hasn’t really visited me since. If she tries, I always chuckle to myself and remind her, all she wanted was to be with her son, so to move on. Being that she was such a scary woman in life, this suited me just fine but like I said, she was once a little girl too and someone shaped and molded her into the woman I knew. This helps me deal with things. I don’t wish to be like her but instead, I thank her for the gifts she did pass down to me and bless and release her. One day, my father will die and I will have to deal with his death and the passing of another “not so good” person in life. I will be as ready as I can be but until then, I will be grateful for all off the gifts he did pass down to me.

Animal Spirit Guides

Getting in touch with my “power animal” or “animal spirit guide” has been part of my spiritual journey that actually began for me almost thirty years ago but  I just didn’t know it at the time.

One of my best buddies and “Soul Bro’s” is a wickedly talented airbrush artist. He painted this amazing painting for me that included my animal spirit guide and my constellation.  It prompted me to write again about my personal story with my own animal spirit guide.

When I was a little girl I had my “imaginary friends” that only I could see and hear but when I was about 9 years old, I had an experience that most would describe as “paranormal”. I woke up one morning to the cawing of what I thought was a crow outside. Much to my surprise, when I opened up my eyes to the barely sunlit room, I wasn’t alone and the cawing was not actually coming from outside.

Perched majestically on the curtain rod over my bedroom window was a proud looking, almost two feet tall, black bird inside my room. Yes, that’s right, IN my bedroom, on the curtain rod was what appeared to be, a “giant” crow.

I rubbed my eyes to get a closer look and as I sat up in bed, the black bird flew down to me. I immediately threw myself back on the bed and pulled the covers up underneath my chin.  The curtains were drawn but it was bright enough in the room, to see what my “feathered friend” was up to. The bird did not fly around all confused, banging into the walls or banging into the windows like I’ve seen other birds do when they are indoors but every time I sat up, the bird would fly off the curtain rod and down to me.

I could tell it was still early in the morning as I didn’t hear anyone else in the house stirring. I observed him for a bit. He wasn’t doing anything but turning his head occasionally to look down at me. His caw echoed like what it felt, through the whole house. I became frightened and remember calling out for my parents. I called and called until finally I heard my father coming down the hall. When I heard my father get to my bedroom, I was  very surprised that he couldn’t open the door and the door was locked.

“Abreme la puerta!” my father shouted in Spanish.

The door was locked? But how or why? I was a child, a scared little girl, and no way would I have ever have locked that bedroom door. So, I had to jump out of bed to open it. Come to think of it now as an adult, I had never even used the lock on that door, ever. When my father came into my room, I saw he was both shocked and stunned by what he saw and after running to get a broom to scoot the bird out of the obviously left open window, there was of course, no open window. That crow had “magically” manifested himself into my room.

For years, my family speculated and spoke of the “wretched crow” and how he got into my room. He had obviously brought bad Lexi Gaia Verano - Ravenomens, curses and plagues of mental illnesses.  I was diagnosed and rediagnosed with several “disorders” in fact because let’s be real, if you see or hear things that others don’t, you are classified as mentally ill.  The diagnoses always changed, depending on the psychiatrist my parents took me to and my mother’s Catholic beliefs only frightened me more. This was obviously a curse.

But how could I have been so mentally ill when my father saw the bird as well? Didn’t other kids have imaginary friends too? And if this was a “curse”, who would want to curse an innocent child? I wasn’t sure but what I did know was that ever since I saw and heard that large, black bird in my room, I became sensitive to energies and had great difficulties sleeping at night. More than ever, I heard things, I saw things, I experienced things but I assumed, all of it was “bad.”

It wasn’t until I worked with a gent by the name of Rocky Krogfoss, a Core Belief Energy Healer, Life Coach and Intuitive Counselor that I FINALLY got some useful information and was introduced to the concept that the Raven, the Crow with which I had so many encounters with since that first childhood experience, was my “power animal”, my animal spirit guide. Maybe I wasn’t a complete utter “wacko” and maybe there was something good in having a raven appear in your bedroom.

Today both the raven and the crow meet me in my meditations, they are my protectors, they call to me from the trees when I connect with nature in the forests and sit eerily close to me when I am in meditation out doors. I call upon them in my time of need and send them to my loved ones when they need assistance. I no longer view them as something “bad“. The aboriginal people of Canada for example, actually view the Raven and the Crow as the most powerful animal in their folklore and I learned how much of my own personality and what is written about them, ties into who I am as a woman today. I embrace my beautiful brother Crow now. One man had to stop and photograph me once, when he told me he had never seen someone so comfortable with having a large, black bird almost perched upon their shoulder. I just smirked at him and nodded.

Animal Speak - Archangel Wellness BlogDiscovering YOUR totem animal, your animal spirit guide or power animal, can be a rewarding experience. Books by Chris Lutthichau, Steven Farmer and Ted Andrews can be extremely helpful in helping you discover and learn more about your own connection with a particular animal and what it means for you.

Click HERE to see my youtube video on more of my raven story and attached here is one of the books I have used to help me learn more about my totem the Raven.

Blessings, Lexi

I’m your Magic Feather

Here, hold this magic feather.  If you hold it tightly, you can actually fly!!!

That’s what Dumbo the flying elephant was told and he flew.

Archangel Wellness Magic Feather

The Magic Feather to Spiritual Coaching

But you’re no Dumbo. So if I tell you that spiritually based coaching or counselling actually will improve your life, why would you believe me????

Well…let me tell you about Spiritual Coaching. What exactly is it? While your common dictionary defines “coaching” as: to give instructions or advice to …there is no definition in the common dictionary for Spiritual Coaching.

So I kinda wrote in my own definition and while it includes a lot of the definition above, I’ve added that your Spiritual coach empowers you to connect to your own truths. In a session, you get to focus on your own truths and your Spiritual coach can “give instruction or advice” based on on your own personal beliefs. What does the Universe say? What does God say? What about your angels? In a world where there is a scientific explanation to everything, what about in the instance where there just isn’t one?

I chose to become a Spiritual coach when I became lost in my own belief system. Raised a Catholic, I was confused by a lot of the “rules”  that the Church had. I was now a divorced single mom and I felt I just didn’t fit in anywhere anymore. So, I began my own Spiritual journey. I began studying different religions trying to find my place and I learned they all had a common thread. Love. It all began and ended with Love. I learned that I wasn’t going to burn into fiery ash if I didn’t fit into the Catholic church anymore and I learned that there were other people out there just like me! People like me who wanted to feel loved, who wanted to believe in something bigger than themselves and didn’t want to feel alone in this big old world. I knew I desperately still wanted to feel that unconditional love when one is connected to Source and after years of training and coaching of my own, I discovered…that “source” was love. I felt that love. I felt that love in my heart for who I was. I didn’t feel alone at all and I decided to use my own training to help others find their way back to that “Love” that existed in all religions.

There is nothing wrong with wanting to believe in something bigger than yourself and it’s ok to want to have Spiritual practices or rituals, even if you don’t fit into a particular religion. Nowadays, some of us still needs rituals. I do! For me, everything is a ritual, I  have a morning ritual, a bedtime ritual, a meditation ritual, a Yoga ritual, a sitting in nature ritual, a howling at the moon ritual…and I want to help you find the rituals that fill you up and bring you closer to that love.  There are no wrong or right answers.  There are no good or bad decisions.  Like I said, in any religion it all begins and ends with love. So let me be your magic feather. If our only life purpose is to give and receive that love than I will work with you in a team effort where the “Divine” is considered and we all work together to help you along on your journey. I’ll do my best to connect you with your Spiritual beliefs and teach you how you can receive that loving guidance through your heart, through your intuition, through your “gut”… even if you don’t know really know exactly what your beliefs are yet. That’s ok.

On my own spiritual journey, I remember that during a mediation class where the facilitator was supporting us to connect with our “Guardian Angel” , we were doing a visualization and I had Jesus appear to me.  I was flabbergasted. I was confused. Not considering myself a Christian in any way shape or form I couldn’t understand why now, in my mid thirties I was being approached by Jesus? I sought answers, I sought explanations, I even I fought it! I wasn’t part of any Church and I liked my Buddhist practices so why was Jesus appearing to me? As I meditated more, studied more and honed my skills more, over the years, I stopped questioning why Jesus still comes to me in meditations. I feel more connected to that Love and that’s all that matters. It doesn’t have to “look” a certain way.  I stopped trying to find explanations and I stopped fighting it. The Jesus I see is a wanderer of the world, a teacher, a healer, a carpenter, a hippie, a very cool dude. He meditates and heals. Accepting everyone. Loving everyone. He never leaves you. He doesn’t abandon you so you can learn “lessons”, he doesn’t leave you if you’ve been “bad” or in your ego. He sticks by you. This Jesus exists in my heart, that’s the real Jesus to me because he loves me and is there for me. Christians always told me that the Jesus I speak to must be a demon or an imposter because you can’t communicate with Jesus that way and to be wary for I am speaking to a false Jesus. What? Who said? Why couldn’t I speak to the real Jesus this way? This Jesus is a being of white light and healing that loves me unconditionally and that’s the Jesus I want to hang with. That’s the real Jesus to me.

Me and my homie, JC.

When we are filled up with love for ourselves, in a healthy way, that love just spills out of you on to others. The Dalai Lama says, “If you can, help others; if you cannot do that, at least do not harm them.” All of us can connect with that Love. Some of us just  need a little coaching, a little mentoring and that’s where I like to think, I come in. I will never try to convince you of anything that isn’t already part of your own belief system. I will just help you connect with your own universal and spiritual current and remind you, it’s ok to be you and you are never alone. You are loved.

Imagine, you’ve teleported into the future and you are living your life as a happier, wiser, more at peace, spiritual soul. You got there because you’ve given up trying to do things on your own, figuring things out on your own and you’ve learned to tap to into that Love! Remember when I said, there is a scientific explanation to everything? There is also a spiritual explanation to everything too! Doesn’t that blow your mind? And when you learn to deal with challenges by tapping into your inner wisdom, you don’t have to do it on your own anymore and you don’t need someone like me, a Spiritual coach, anymore either.

By opening our hearts and asking certain questions, we are opening ourselves up to the Universe’s love… to Nature’s love… to God’s love…whatever your belief system is…it all begins and ends with love, remember? There is no wrong or right answer on your own personal Spiritual journey and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. If they do? It’s time to bless and release them.

Spiritual coaching sessions should help open your heart to spiritual answers. It should never feel shaming or negative. In turn, I believe you open your heart to more peace and more love in your life. And who doesn’t want that?

Archangel Wellness Open Your Heart to Love

Open your heart to more peace and more love in  your life.

For more information on spiritual coaching or what a session with me looks like, visit my    website

Angel hugs,

Lexi

Be Thankful for Who You Are

I often tell my clients and friends to be thankful, and accept and embrace who they are…but at the same time I often hear from them, that they just don’t know how to do that.

Now, I have written and spoken several times all over North America about my own journey of accepting myself for who I am, who I am not and whom I will never be. I can speak until I’m blue in the face on my acceptance of the label “Drama Queen”.

For me, being a Drama Queen means that I am a deeply sensitive soul, not a mean and angry asshole that says mean and hurtful things to others. There’s a difference. I am expressive, emotional and bold. I am extremely passionate and fiery.  I’m empathic, I am highly sensitive and I feel… a LOT! Which I am thankful for because it allows me to easily tap into my intuition and receive clear messages from Guides and Angels. I also have my clear boundaries and limits and am able to make them known but sometimes its difficult to express those boundaries because I can be an asshole and I can hurt others in the process if I’m not careful. Yep, I said it, I can be an asshole and I just can’t bring that to the party if I want to play well with others. There are times I have to learn to shut up and walk away before I cause damage and hurt. To this day, this is still a work in process for me when it comes to personal relationships.

People that love me, cringe when I call myself this but for me it has no negative meaning what so ever. Calling myself a Drama Queen is my cheeky way of accepting that yes, I am a dramatic person and I AM THANKFUL for that! It does not have to be negative. I am mature-ish enough now to know that grown women don’t need to bring drama into their relationships. I am emotional and that’s ok. I can choose how and how not to express my “drama”. We all have the choice of how we “show up” in life. If I am to accept that I am a Drama Queen, how do I want to present myself in front of others? If was completely “emotionless” how would I want to present myself in front of others? It’s all about perception. We all have to be a “certain” way to get along and play well with others, how do you want to show up?

I have found my voice, I know my voice well and I am able to voice my voice. (Is that even proper English? “voice my voice?”) When I see or feel an injustice it can hurt me deeply and personally  BUT… It also allows me to be a public speaker that speaks from the heart. I get up on stage or in front of a camera and without any problem, speak before people, expressing myself from deep within. I deeply feel pain and mourn boldly. I feel deep anger and frustration and I throw myself on the bed and weep loudly into my pillow or almost rip through the pages of my journal with my pen. BUT… I only express this anger, frustration and deep pain to a few select people, in a safe space, in a safe way with those that I trust. How I make my boundaries and limits known to others doesn’t have to be in a dramatic, violent lash out or protest. I do let others speak their mind now, I listen as well and I believe in peace, acceptance and love. Lots and lots of love.

Dramatic people can be the some of the best teachers, artists, songwriters, actors, motivational speakers, even life changers. But don’t get me wrong, not all “Drama Queens” are good and most cannot exist without an audience. Some for example, don’t know what to do with all their “drama” and don’t even know what it means or how to express it in healthy ways.

Because many drama queens need that audience or don’t know how to exist without it, they might create their own drama, negatively. They lash out at others, get physical and violent. They might yell, scream, cry or even berate others. Some are manipulators. Some are gas lighters. I’ve seen some drama queens take others “hostage” and wrap everyone up in their “drama.” They are unable or unwilling to let you leave their performance. Just try and walk away when one is in full rant.

And we can’t always blame them, they often don’t know any better. They never had positive role models. No one ever taught them differently. Then… There are people in life whose life journey is just to be an asshole…all the time! It is true! But that doesn’t mean you have to be part of their journey. Just send them love, bless them and release them. Let them go.

They most likely haven’t embraced their drama and haven’t found healthy ways of getting out all of their emotions. That’s what drama can sometimes be, pent up emotions in adults that never learned as children what to do with their emotions! If they are not lashing out others, I’ve seen some that feel a deep sense of betrayal for incidents as a child. They are triggered for example and completely shut down.  They shut others out of their lives, giving every one “the silent treatment”, alienating themselves from the outside world and become bitter. They beat themselves up and dramatize things happening in their lives as a deep personal injury. Also a dramatic play.  I’m not saying all of the above are wrong either. I’m just saying we all have ways of expressing ourselves and accepting who we are. Good or bad. We all deal with things differently. There are those of us that are dramatic, those of us that are not and all those in between. Give thanks to where you once were, where you are now and where you want to be.

Angry Lexi Gaia Verano

The start of my drama queen, angry asshole days.

As a young woman, I was an angry asshole all the time and I decided to change that. I kept hurting people and losing them and I had to put a stop to that. I had a lousy childhood and angry drama was my “go to”, I had to accept this.  If you accept that you are a certain way and you don’t like it, then change it. Only you have the power to change yourself. Accept who you are and then choose to either embrace certain qualities about yourself or change them. My friend Nadine once said, ” Deal with it, delegate it or ditch it!”. I loved that saying of hers and I still hold it close it my chest. Learn who you are truly. What are your triggers? Who are the people you can be around that bring you to your highest self? Who are the people that trigger you?

Today: I am thankful and accept I am dramatic. I accept I will never be a size 2 and am thankful for my sexy curves. I accept I will never have straight sleek beautiful hair. I accept I am not the perfect mother but I’m thankful for my awesome kids and I work hard for them. I accept I will never live in a mansion but my house kicks ass. I accept I will never be a millionaire.  I accept I am scattered and messy. I accept I’m not the best artist/painter. I accept I hate jogging and going to the gym. I accept I love eating in bed and wearing my pajamas all day. I accept I am an emotional eater and I love sweets that might not be the best for me. I accept I am scared of confrontation and I give far too many fucks where fucks do not need be given. Aaaaand… I am SO thankful and finally accept I see and feel spirits. I accept I see fairies. I accept I have intuitive gifts. I accept my gifts and I accept my faults and not a single gram of fuck shall be given to what others may think of that.  I am thankful!

Archangel Wellness - Frog

Now, what I choose to do with all this acceptance is my right and so is it your right with your own acceptance of who you are. Be thankful for what you do have in your life.  Accept it and then either embrace it or change it. I’ve been told several times in my life, “…but Lex if you really want to live in a mansion, YOU CAN!” and “if you really want to be a size 2, YOU CAN!” They are right. I can… but those are things that I rather just accept and embrace and not give any further thought to. I have far too many other things I want to accept and change, those two just aren’t important enough to me. I believe in being thankful. I believe in peace, acceptance and love. Lots and lots of love.

Positive Vibes Jambalaya 

Well hey there! Welcome and thanks for checking out my blog! Warning: writings may contain expletives, adult content and is written in a home office that may have been in contact with nuts.

I have been writing and blogging for many years about this thing and that thing but I’ve never condensed everything I have learned over the years about myself, about others, about spirituality, intuition, religion, health, wellness and relationships all in one place. Well…that’s what this blog is: A big ol’ jambalaya of all of the above. PLUS…it’s all gonna be all about positive vibes.

So who am I? I’m a woman. A pretty “alright” woman, I’d say.  I show up and do my best on most days. I make mistakes. Learn from them and move on. I act crazy, I act sane. I listen to hip-hop, I meditate, talk to Angels, give thanks to Jesus and I believe in peace and love but I say “fuck” a lot. I’m a mother, daughter, teacher, entrepreneur, holistic practitioner and Angel Intuitive. (All positions where I don’t say fuck) But I’m also a writer, artist , gardener, sister and best friend. (Cuss words used often here) I don’t think I could give you a 30 second elevator pitch about what I do. I’m just too round to fit in that square peg and that’s jus’ fine with me. It’s all good.

As a woman, I can be complicated. Not that all women are complicated… we just generally…sometimes, mostly, always… are. I like to think of myself as “multi-faceted”. That sounds a lot better than “complicated”. Ever changing, ever evolving, that’s me.

As I have aged and matured as a woman I feel I have become less and less complicated and a lot more and more positive. I am pretty comfortable in my own skin but that doesn’t mean I don’t still leave others scratching their heads about me…it’s just less often… and after 40, what woman really gives a shit what others think of her anyway? Scratch away I say, scratch away.

I’m not here to teach you how to make millions or how to rock at anything other than just being yourself! Your most grateful, joyful, most blissful, authentic and spiritual self.  Doesn’t that sound dreamy? I’ll share my shenanigans, my experiences, my musings and hopefully it’ll give you the motivation, inspiration, courage and know how to discover your own most sacred and spiritual self.  I can’t wait! It’s going to be fantastic!

Positive vibes my loves…only positive vibes.

I FLY,

Lexi