I often tell my clients and friends to be thankful, and accept and embrace who they are…but at the same time I often hear from them, that they just don’t know how to do that.
Now, I have written and spoken several times all over North America about my own journey of accepting myself for who I am, who I am not and whom I will never be. I can speak until I’m blue in the face on my acceptance of the label “Drama Queen”.
For me, being a Drama Queen means that I am a deeply sensitive soul, not a mean and angry asshole that says mean and hurtful things to others. There’s a difference. I am expressive, emotional and bold. I am extremely passionate and fiery. I’m empathic, I am highly sensitive and I feel… a LOT! Which I am thankful for because it allows me to easily tap into my intuition and receive clear messages from Guides and Angels. I also have my clear boundaries and limits and am able to make them known but sometimes its difficult to express those boundaries because I can be an asshole and I can hurt others in the process if I’m not careful. Yep, I said it, I can be an asshole and I just can’t bring that to the party if I want to play well with others. There are times I have to learn to shut up and walk away before I cause damage and hurt. To this day, this is still a work in process for me when it comes to personal relationships.
People that love me, cringe when I call myself this but for me it has no negative meaning what so ever. Calling myself a Drama Queen is my cheeky way of accepting that yes, I am a dramatic person and I AM THANKFUL for that! It does not have to be negative. I am mature-ish enough now to know that grown women don’t need to bring drama into their relationships. I am emotional and that’s ok. I can choose how and how not to express my “drama”. We all have the choice of how we “show up” in life. If I am to accept that I am a Drama Queen, how do I want to present myself in front of others? If was completely “emotionless” how would I want to present myself in front of others? It’s all about perception. We all have to be a “certain” way to get along and play well with others, how do you want to show up?
I have found my voice, I know my voice well and I am able to voice my voice. (Is that even proper English? “voice my voice?”) When I see or feel an injustice it can hurt me deeply and personally BUT… It also allows me to be a public speaker that speaks from the heart. I get up on stage or in front of a camera and without any problem, speak before people, expressing myself from deep within. I deeply feel pain and mourn boldly. I feel deep anger and frustration and I throw myself on the bed and weep loudly into my pillow or almost rip through the pages of my journal with my pen. BUT… I only express this anger, frustration and deep pain to a few select people, in a safe space, in a safe way with those that I trust. How I make my boundaries and limits known to others doesn’t have to be in a dramatic, violent lash out or protest. I do let others speak their mind now, I listen as well and I believe in peace, acceptance and love. Lots and lots of love.
Dramatic people can be the some of the best teachers, artists, songwriters, actors, motivational speakers, even life changers. But don’t get me wrong, not all “Drama Queens” are good and most cannot exist without an audience. Some for example, don’t know what to do with all their “drama” and don’t even know what it means or how to express it in healthy ways.
Because many drama queens need that audience or don’t know how to exist without it, they might create their own drama, negatively. They lash out at others, get physical and violent. They might yell, scream, cry or even berate others. Some are manipulators. Some are gas lighters. I’ve seen some drama queens take others “hostage” and wrap everyone up in their “drama.” They are unable or unwilling to let you leave their performance. Just try and walk away when one is in full rant.
And we can’t always blame them, they often don’t know any better. They never had positive role models. No one ever taught them differently. Then… There are people in life whose life journey is just to be an asshole…all the time! It is true! But that doesn’t mean you have to be part of their journey. Just send them love, bless them and release them. Let them go.
They most likely haven’t embraced their drama and haven’t found healthy ways of getting out all of their emotions. That’s what drama can sometimes be, pent up emotions in adults that never learned as children what to do with their emotions! If they are not lashing out others, I’ve seen some that feel a deep sense of betrayal for incidents as a child. They are triggered for example and completely shut down. They shut others out of their lives, giving every one “the silent treatment”, alienating themselves from the outside world and become bitter. They beat themselves up and dramatize things happening in their lives as a deep personal injury. Also a dramatic play. I’m not saying all of the above are wrong either. I’m just saying we all have ways of expressing ourselves and accepting who we are. Good or bad. We all deal with things differently. There are those of us that are dramatic, those of us that are not and all those in between. Give thanks to where you once were, where you are now and where you want to be.
As a young woman, I was an angry asshole all the time and I decided to change that. I kept hurting people and losing them and I had to put a stop to that. I had a lousy childhood and angry drama was my “go to”, I had to accept this. If you accept that you are a certain way and you don’t like it, then change it. Only you have the power to change yourself. Accept who you are and then choose to either embrace certain qualities about yourself or change them. My friend Nadine once said, ” Deal with it, delegate it or ditch it!”. I loved that saying of hers and I still hold it close it my chest. Learn who you are truly. What are your triggers? Who are the people you can be around that bring you to your highest self? Who are the people that trigger you?
Today: I am thankful and accept I am dramatic. I accept I will never be a size 2 and am thankful for my sexy curves. I accept I will never have straight sleek beautiful hair. I accept I am not the perfect mother but I’m thankful for my awesome kids and I work hard for them. I accept I will never live in a mansion but my house kicks ass. I accept I will never be a millionaire. I accept I am scattered and messy. I accept I’m not the best artist/painter. I accept I hate jogging and going to the gym. I accept I love eating in bed and wearing my pajamas all day. I accept I am an emotional eater and I love sweets that might not be the best for me. I accept I am scared of confrontation and I give far too many fucks where fucks do not need be given. Aaaaand… I am SO thankful and finally accept I see and feel spirits. I accept I see fairies. I accept I have intuitive gifts. I accept my gifts and I accept my faults and not a single gram of fuck shall be given to what others may think of that. I am thankful!
Now, what I choose to do with all this acceptance is my right and so is it your right with your own acceptance of who you are. Be thankful for what you do have in your life. Accept it and then either embrace it or change it. I’ve been told several times in my life, “…but Lex if you really want to live in a mansion, YOU CAN!” and “if you really want to be a size 2, YOU CAN!” They are right. I can… but those are things that I rather just accept and embrace and not give any further thought to. I have far too many other things I want to accept and change, those two just aren’t important enough to me. I believe in being thankful. I believe in peace, acceptance and love. Lots and lots of love.